JOOOOY for Monday...

Hello everyone. Welcome to the week. I think this is amazing, it is however long and creepy, so if you want something upbeat and jammy, go visit the Angry White Guy here and click on Darth MC Hammer. You will not be dissapointed.

Otherwise - onward! Satan - Disney style...

Ten things I know

1.) Midwesterners in a group are frequently so surprised to hear anyone speak authoritatively, that simply by saying “excuse me” in the right tone of voice, you can part a sidewalk like the red sea.

2.) There are some very disgusting things that happen at Furry Con. No – I will not elaborate.

3.) A good sharp knife cannot be underrated.

4.) G.I. Jane is a terrible movie, and yet can always be counted on to turn your day around and make you want to kick some ass.

5.) It’s easy to flummox a barista by ordering plain coffee. They never expect it. It makes me giggle.

6.) The only thing to fear is stasis. (Well – that and birds)

7.) I should not be as amused by this website as I am (it’s MAYBE SFW. Caution)

8.) Fried Pickles. Tasty. Who knew?

9.) The Crowded House Woodface album is a rare gem that I had entirely forgotten about.

10.) Some things cannot be unsaid. Language is a weapon, be careful where you point it.

JOY! East coast style...

Hello all - I'm havin an east coast start to an east coast week...

This is for you.




Let's be careful out there

Ars gratia artis…..?

So – I was recently in a position to have to EXPLAIN why art was important in a community. My immediate response was…well DUH, and my second was…because art is important because it’s ART. What other reason could a person possibly need?

In that moment and for these purposes that answer did not cut it. At all. And I found myself having to examine and articulate one of the driving ideals of my life. Because a life without art is a life bereft. Period.

Here is what I came to…My why art matters to you even if you don’t think it does manifesto.

____________________________________________________
Art is important to a community because it is crucial for the soul and mind of a person to be nourished and engaged, and it is from engaged people with minds open to growth and change that a community is built. Without creative discourse, challenging thought and common experiences, a full-fledged community never develops, simply people who live in the same geographical area. Art provides us, by its nature, the fertilizer to let a community blossom. It is a social outlet, a political outlet, an emotional outlet. Art can shine the light on the truth before it can be spoken aloud in a literal fashion. A community without art, is not quite a community at all.

____________________________________________________

I once had a well-educated** adult tell me that she “didn’t like culture. ” Now – to each their own, but when she said this I was so stunned that I couldn’t even respond. To run into a person who would admit this without shame, or any sense of the place of art in the universe, it was as if someone had told me the earth WAS actually flat, the idea was so foreign.

I suspect I will have occasion to run into her again. If this comes up – I will give her my little manifesto. And a book.

**"Well-educated" is obviously debatable, given the rest of this, but she had more, and more expensive degrees than I did, from more well-respected schools.

Notes from the front: Regarding online dating...

Match.com has a "wink" button so that you can faux wink at people to express interest.

I would really like them to add a "Hi - Just go ahead and ask me out for a drink at one of the four following bars (select below) because I will know within one drink whether or not there is any chemistry here" button.

This seems way more fun than making small talk over the interwebs. Everything you need to know to figure out if I'm your flavor is in my profile anyway. Do you REALLY want to chat for two weeks about where I went to college and what growing up in DC is like?

I shall call them and suggest it.

Notes from the front: Dear Colleague...

1.) It is not a "mute" point. It is a "MOOT" point. You are a native English speaker, please get it together, lest I smack you in the head the next time you say this.

2.) I DO NOT CARE about your azaleas. And I never will.

3.) Your gum. Stop chewing it. Thank you.

On Homemaking. Yeah. I said Homemaking.

I’m not (nor do I aspire to be) Martha Stewart, nor am I sprung from The Handmaid’s Tale, and I have never mentally lived somewhere that’s green. I have problems putting away shoes, and jackets, and mail so that there is very frequently a shoe/mail/jacket farm in my living room. My house is not pristine, my wine glasses don’t match, and the bulk of my furniture is second hand. I, however, have been called a “consummate hostess” by at least one darling, handsome, Englishman, who most certainly knew what he was talking about. I will use his judgment of me to speak from a position of authority on this topic.

Scores of people have gotten lost in the idea that homemaking involves fancy stainless matching appliances, perfectly clean baseboards as all times, the nicest blankets…the trappings of Pottery Barn and Williams Sonoma and Yankee Candle . It is as if there is an insidious voice permeating through society that tells us…if I only have the perfect candle and the perfect sheets and the perfect baskets in the perfect place, my family will be happy and we will all love each other and my friends will be happy here just like it happens on TV! This is housemaking. The making of a house. Housemaking is great, and sometimes lucrative, if you are a prop designer. Other than that – it doesn’t get you much of anywhere, except into a race where you chase the Jonses and never quite make it, but you might own a lovely collection of $100 baskets.

HOMEMAKING, on the other hand, as the term suggests, is about making a home. When you think “home” do you think – perfect knickknacks? Or do you think of a place, whatever that place is, where you feel safe, welcome, and at ease? Homemaking is about creating the latter, an emotional environment, knickknacks be dammed. When you come to my house** my greatest desire is that you feel comfortable and loved. Yup – loved. You come into my house – and there is love for you. Here are my most important house rules:

1.) Make yourself at home.
2.) It’s okay if you break something.
3.) It’s okay if you spill something.
4.) Nothing in my home is more important than the people in it.

Now of course, there’s a whole world of don’t be an ass, and pick up after yourself, and manners apply, yadda yadda, because that all goes to the whole comfort for all thing. AND – if Yankee Candles are truly what you love, put’em everywhere, go to town (I will probably judge you for this, but you probably wouldn’t have me over anyway)

At the end of the day though, when you are making a home and a life and building a family in whatever way you define it, having the best basket collection will not help you. Mad Men sold our mothers and fathers, and us, the idea, with their designers and food stylists and shiny appliances. A Viking range does not a home make. Might make you a nice pie, though.

**let me not leave out the BFF here :) - it’s our house – but it’s my blog and we’re not chatting before I post this…I expect she agrees with me.

Joy. Absolute.

I love all of these people. They were all in my apartment this weekend.



If that ain't joy - I don't know what is.

If that doesn't do it for you...this is a cake:



Courtesy of cakewrecks.com

This guy says...

I'm a winner and so are you!

Notes from the front: Regarding online dating

1.)I am exhausted of crafting delicately worded emails to strangers. It's like a never ending version of small talk, with additional judgement for poor spelling and punctuation.

2.) I should probably get a city sticker for my car before I go out on a date with a cop.

the JOY is back!

I like this kid. Hope you do too. Have a kick ass week!

Ten things I know...

1.) A disney soundtrack is almost always fun and will put you in an exceedingly happy place, but rarely can you admit this in public without mockery.

2.) I would make a terrible vegetarian.

3.) If you ask yourself "What is the bravest decision I can make?," and then make that one, you will rarely lead yourself astray, and your life will thank you for it.

4.) Despite your best intentions, and most noble goals, not everyone appreciates you telling them the truth when they ask you for it. Especially when these people are your parents.

5.) I suspect there is a limit to the amount of things one can own with Jesus and/or the Virgin Mary on it before the Catholic church forcibly takes me back, but I figure if I keep trying hard enough I might get a free trip to Vatican City. (I realize I'm sneaking in an "I suspect", but you'll live. I can't know EVERYTHING. just most things.)

6.) Bananas are all clones of each other - like a disgusting, mooshy space army. One more reason they are evil and loathed.

7.) "Huzzah!" is fun to say out loud in public, but it takes a real, non-ironic, commitment to pull it off.

8.) Most of the time, the person making your life suck is you. Man up and figure it the hell out.

9.) Manipulation should never be used in your personal life, but can be an effective business tactic when properly applied in an unselfish manner.

10.) Green shoes: best.idea.ever.

aaaaaaand...we're back!

Hey friends - It's been way too long. I had to fix my life, and it seems that I have. What can I say? Somedays you just have to stick it out until your little froggy self realizes the water is boiling, and then you must heal all of the burns. I'm pleased to say that this is now done - until it happens again, which I'm pretty sure it will someday. Ah - life, you are a wacky mistress.

It's an interesting day when you wake up and realize that were you to win the lottery you would change almost nothing about your life (this day was not today, BTW, it was a bit ago...but as always - had to put on the giant, soul sucking, meeting of doom and got waylayed from my return to the blogosphere). I'd travel more, I'd work less, I'd set up scholarships and fund a bunch of art, but in the end - I've got what I want. Which is a minor miracle for those of you that have known me for any significant length of time. For those of you that are strangers, well, you'll just have to wonder...

So! Let's start this our on an up note - shall we? Of course, it's not like I'm all joy and love and ponies...

The Hat of Judgement returns! Here's what I feel like judging today.

1.) Ohio...steeped in evil and full of insipid, overpriced baskets.

2.) Zombies...still fun, if now cliche.

3.) My brother...Spectacular. (and also has a really good arm, which I know from when he threw a rock at my head in our youth...but I digress.)

4.) The mere fact that I managed to get Billy Joel tickets...surprising and AWESOME! (yeah - if you are not jealous - you should be. If he plays Zanzibar I might actually cry)

5.) Fringe...good for all occasions. Although I should probably re-evaluate my stance on this as I landed last minute free tickets to the Fleetwood Mac show this year, and as I threw on my standard goin' out uniform A, it occurred to me that I MIGHT look a bit more like a Stevie Nicks groupie than I was comfortable with...

6.) Alliteration...luscious, lovely, languid.

7.) High Fructose Corn Syrup...worst idea ever.

8.) People that leave their carts in the middle of a skinny aisle, therefore blocking everyone else's way...rude. RUDE. pay attention to your surroundings people - we're all in this together.

9.) Arbor day...why?

10.) Nathan Fillion...averagely talented, but super dreamy. Thanks Joss Whedon!