Ten more things I know....

1.) Many things can be improved with the addition of a maraschino cherry.

2.) If you want to express displeasure to/at someone while giving them no actual insult to report and therefore letting you dissappear with the last word while they are left inarticulate and stunned, saying "Jesus loves you" in just the right tone of voice does very nicely.

3.) It would be great fun if the fortunes in fortune cookies exploded into a hail of fire after you read them.

4.) Some men ARE in fact brave enough to show up outside the window to my apartment at 2:00am on a school night. (this particular gentelman was unlucky enough to have me go all Tennessee Willaims on his ass from my third floor three flat window, but I digress...)

5.) If you put a hot turkey in a beer cooler for an hour, it will be piping hot when you remove it. Who knew? Thanksgiving is saved!

6.) It is in fact possible to successfully sport a cocktail dress and chain mail at a five-star hotel.

7.) "The Muppets Greatest Hits" on your ipod is always a crowd pleaser. Especially when it's on shuffle.

8.) Legwarmers are awesome.

9.) There is a special kind of irony in going out for a 30 minute run and screwing up your back badly enough that you spend the whole next day on the couch eating tiny slices of leftover birthday cake.

10.) There is great joy in cooking something for the first time and having it proclaimed "equally as good as my grandma's" by a friend. thanks boo!

Mudballs are FUN!

It's mud. And art. Super cool.

oh JOY...for Monday that is....

Welcome to your week. This is for you.



and THIS is for you...



and lastly...this is for you too! See how I give :)

The joy is back! I know - I'm a slacker

Hi Everyone! Sorry there has been no joy. First I went to Vegas, then I had to spend a week catching up (read - in a conversation with myself about unpacking and what the maximum acheivable level of hungover could be), then I got all busy - but now I'm BACK!

first up - here's some joy...

This is my new kitten. YAY! I rescued her from children who were trying to light her on fire. My karma is now back in check. Her name is Grendel aka The Great and Powerful Fennel...

Next up - here are some things that I learned in Las Vegas:

1.) Bourbon, stilettos, and cobblestone are a wicked combination requiring focus and ankle strength.

2.) The following thing does exist: a lesbian with too much frosted pink eyeshadow.

3.) It's worth paying the extra money for homemade salami (Thank you Mario Batali)

4.) You can, in fact, lose a chunk of money on penny slots.

5.) Tony Danza is still getting work, this time in The Producers. God save us.

6.) Apparently, the bulk of Americans think it is okay to go into the world in mis-matched sweats while on vacation. (no wonder everyone hates us)

7.) A tiny eclair with breakfast = joy!

I've only got seven today - but - keep your eye on this space and magical pictures will appear.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Excuse me sir - would you care for some JOY?

I'm going to Vegas this week. For fun. and not for work. (!!!)

In honor of that - this is for you. (and yes - I know that this was actually shot in Hawaii - give me a break on that part...thanks)

Yeah..theoretically it's sexist but...

I suspect that if I lived in a time that supported dressing like a pinup girl every day...I probably would. Dear god I love those shoes.

Ten things I love...a Broadway themed extravaganza. Let the mocking commence!

1.) Vintage Barbara Streisand

2.) Mandy Patinkin (His name is Inigo Montoya, you killed his father, prepare to die.)

3.) Les Miz

4.) Cherry Jones (you know who she is - you just don't know it)

5.) Into the Woods

6.) Sweeney Todd

7.) Jerry Orbach (Law and Order my ass)

8.) Funny Girl

9.) Jesus Christ Superstar

10.) Kevin Kline (Yeah - Kevin Kline. I'm not even going to humor you with a link here)

10.5) The first 5 minutes of 42nd Street

There's a bunch more, and I'm sure a few others that should be on this list - Urinetown? Avenue Q? Spring Awakening? And we won't even discuss my failure to see August: Osage County...

I am a bright and glorious ray of sunshine…

So – sorry to be all absent and non-posty. Big little meeting is all done with a minimum level of trauma and maximum level of exhaustion. Highlights included dinner at a barn and pumpkins full of candy as far as the eye could see. I believe the staff was in sugar coma for much of the meeting.

We’re taking bets on when I might get it together enough to haul my suitcase out of my trunk and up three flights of stairs. Anyone that had less than three days after the meeting has placed a losing bet. Sorry friends. Apparently I CAN go a week without wearing slacks to work.

I’m back now and certainly will have more deep thoughts to share, including the following.

Groundhog day:
Aka - Why life in the adult world sometimes requires a pile of blankets, a pint of ice cream, a bottle of wine, and a cat. Sadly – I still have no cat.

I am in the enviable position of knowing some amazing and spectacular people who I am blessed to call my friends. I was in the unenviable position last week of having to gently (hopefully) request that one of these remarkable souls give me some space so that I could recover from some, shall we say, distracting feelings of depth.

Apparently I was unclear on the “space” factor here, and in one of those rare moments that adulthood affords you to both feel terrible AND SIMULTANEOUSLY inflict pain on others, I had to have a second-go-round of this conversation. Details aside, my timing on the first version wasn’t great, simply because it had to happen, and my timing on part deux was horrid - cosmic events coinciding to actually act as a fulcrum for the leverage of crappiness. YAY! I think my soul may have died a little bit this month.

So – I’m sure this isn’t very interesting for you, but it brings me back to a business idea from my late 20s…consider it patented.

I am of the opinion that every city needs the following establishment for those of us folk who are basically flying solo through the universe. When there is nowhere to go for the comforts of home or when the comforts of home never quite existed in the first place.

It’s a hotel (of course) somewhere within driving distance and preferably both in the woods and on the water.

You call a number (this is only the actual action that must be taken on your part).

The hotel comes to pick you up in a nice sedan where you can sleep in the back, then they check you in and give you flannel pajamas, fuzzy slippers, a tooth brush, the whole nine yards. You hand them your calendar and they get you out of whatever it is you have somehow committed yourself to be doing. Do you need to pack anything? Nope! You just call and they come get you. When you get there, your room consists of a giant couch, a fluffy bed, a big tv, and is all sort of old and rumply with a whole bunch of blankets. From room service you can order crappy magazines, pets, bottles of whatever, pints of ice cream, yoga teachers, gallons of diet coke, music, playdough, books… you get the idea. Every day is mandatory nap time from 2:00pm-4:00pm. Dinner is served every night at 8:00pm at the big table, where no one is cranky with you for being not so talky. Then after three days, or when you are theoretically able to see the light at the end of your tunnel again, they drive you home.

And they have cleaned your apartment while you are gone.

And preferably done your laundry.

I think this establishment would be a great service to society, and should in fact be covered by health insurance.

If I figure out how to make it happen, you will be the first to know. In the meantime, I’ve got some laundry to do.

I suspect I will be wearing my suspenders of funny again in the near future, so just keep an eye on the space. I promise you, if nothing else, Joy for Monday…