Sunday, August 19, 2007

Something NOT related to joy...but related to Ice Cream!

Yeah. I'm a slacker. Been posting nothing but joy of late...so for no reason other than the BFF said to (see how obedient I can be?) Here you have...

A Guide to Ice Cream Flavors as an Emotional Buoy....

1.) When you are carrying your trash down three flights of stairs in August and the bag breaks because you over-cinched it - Orange Sherbet, Vanilla ribbon.

2.) When it's Christmas time and you have been stuck in the mall for too long and it's REALLY HOT and you hate everyone because they are walking too slowly and they should just get the hell out of your way. - Peppermint Stick in a Waffle Cone. Bourbon Chaser.

3.) When it's 3:00am and you've been up watching a movie marathon of Heathers and Rear Window. - Any flavor as long as it's eaten out of the carton.

4.) When you're in a situation where you MAY find yourself eating the ice cream off of someone - Dulche de Leche or Vanilla (tie).

5.) After Sunday Brunch - Sherbet, Lime or Raspberry.

6.) When it's a hundred million degrees out and you are WAY too hot and cranky, so cranky that you just want to whine like a five year old, despite your advanced age. - Vanilla soft serve, cake cone, rainbow sprinkles.

7.) With bananas foster - NOTHING! NO ICE CREAM goes with the loathed banana! Why would you take such a lovely dessert and ruin it by adding something as disgusting as a banana?

8.) When you have a sore throat, and you are on your couch, and all you want is sweet sweet relief from the horrifying pain of your illness - Popsicles - Green or Red. (Yeah - it's not ice cream - but dairy is bad for a sore throat. so there.)

9.) After the bad day. You know the bad day. the one where something big falls apart - your job, your love, your sanity, or a combination of the three. - Praline Pecan. Bourbon Chaser. Fuzzy Slippers.

10.) On your Birthday - Any flavor you like - as long as it comes with a cake and presents (and in my case - Turkey, as a little cuspy Sagittarius baby) Who doesn't like cake and presents? I know that YOU like cake and presents. Later - stay tuned for my dissertation on punch and pie.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bourbon chaser seems to come up an awful lot Red!

But, to add my 2 rubles worth...or maybe lire.

1) Ok
2) Definately
3) I think it has to be RED also.
4) If you are eating ice cream off of someone I think there is a chance things may go a little beyond vanilla.
5) Can't argue with this logic
6) Ditto, nations capitol, drained swamp, need I say more
7) I like bananas foster.
8) Just don't practice, ummm, technique...
9) I've got to go with the NY Superfudge Chunk here. Or the one with pretzel bits.
10) Just cake please, with a bourbon chaser!

Wickedred said...

Yeah -lots of Bourbon chasers. Apparently I'm just a drunken whore. Ah well - such is life.