We interrupt this programming...

Hi Friends and strangers...I'm going down the rabbit hole for a week. I expect to emerge a quivering ball of jelly. Please be gentle when I get back.

In the meantime...

Check out the blogroll over to your right.

Everything is broken

So I had a better picture to post here to launch a new feature (aren't you excited?!?!)but my web-enabled photo link is all screwed up at the moment. Boo. I give you this instead...

It sort of makes me think of the internal tagline we have selected for this meeting...

"Thank you sir, may I have another?"

In case you were curious...

You are The Star

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised

The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Joy for Monday! Bring on the pony!

This is me. Obviously one of my older photos. But who doesn't like a good pony and a fireman hat? If this is not joyous enough for you, well then, go here, and boogie a bit and thanks to mfink for the dancing cheese fairy. Dont worry - the cheese fairy is totally sfw.

Joy for SUNDAY! Hella yeah...

Well - I'm, again, at work today, so I thought I'd bring some joy early. I may have some joy for Monday too - but only time will tell.

This will make your day better. I have blatantly stolen the link from Chertiozhnik at nobodysfriend.blogspot.com...

It is, in fact, well worth the stealing. Grab your coffee, grab a seat, and just listen. THAT is the way to start a beautiful day...

Five things I said this week that might have been a little bit inappropriate…

1.) In a meeting of 75 staff members...
If someone is all “Waa.I’m important and I don’t know what to do about it”, send them to Kathy.

2.) In response to a colleague who is managing a project we are both working on, that I will not be involved with onsite...
When we get onsite – I freaking don’t care. It’s your problem.

3.) At the Fluevog store…
Yes! I will buy those $200 shoes.

4.) In response to a neighbor who came dashing out of his apartment to catch me at the end of a 14.5 hour workday...
I can’t care about your chairs right now – talk to the BFF. I have to go to sleep.

5.) In response to the director of one of our larger departments who asked me how I was doing..
Well – this meeting might kill me. But the last one killed my mother.

Work.

I have nothing interesting to share today.

So I leave you with this kid.

Be invincible! Rock your day like this kid does!You can do it!

Hell - Kato Kaelin still gets up every day and must do at least something interesting from time to time. You can too!

Photo courtesy www.foundmagazine.com

Kill the Queen!

Holy god am I tired. SOOO tired in fact, that in lieu of writing, I give you this. The part with the zombie and the pool cues - yeah. My entire day is sort of like being that zombie. As mfink tells us - this is YouTube, not one of those OTHER sites - so it's totally SFW.

Enjoy.

Ten things I know…

1.) If you accidentally ask a man with a hook if he “needs a hand”. Well intentioned or not, you will still feel badly about this ten years later.

2.) If you are sad, a really spectacular pair of striped socks can make you feel MUCH better.

3.) If you accidentally hit your acting teacher in the head with a snowball because your aim is soooo terrible – you will ALSO feel badly about that ten years later.

4.) There is a surprising sense of accomplishment in being able to make well-received fried chicken.

5.) Unicorns don’t actually exist but it would be REALLY COOL if they did.

6.) There is a speed limit on Lake Shore Drive.

7.) Only in the Midwest do you draw a bizarre look if you ask the waitron for fat-free salad dressing.

8.) Sometimes your life is beautiful enough that it’s proof that God exists, and simultaneously hard enough that it’s proof God hates you.

9.) Few things are as satisfying as a really good rocking chair.

10.) Your 30s really truly are better than your 20s.

Monday is coming. It's time for some JOY!

Cute! and Fluffy! Feel that joy!!!!!!

You're not buying it are you? I'm pretty much oozing evil at this point. I'm sure you can tell - but I want YOU to be happy and full of light. Why? Because I CARE. yep. About you!

All together now...

"I've got the JOY, joy, joy, joy

Down in my heart (Where?)

DOWN IN my heart (Where?)

DOWN IN my heart

I've got the JOY, joy, joy, joy

DOWN IN my heart (Where?)

DOWN IN my heart to STAY"

Hope that's not too catchy and all stuck in your head.

Have a great week!

Photo Courtesy of some other website I forgot to write down.

Ten words from times past I wish we still used regularly...

1.) Forsooth

2.) Simonize

3.) Paddy Wagon

4.) Blotto

5.) Gal Friday

6.) Ye

7.) Stockings

8.) Bayonet

9.) Golly

10.) Knockers

I don't have a catchy title today. Sorry. You can suffer. Or make one up all on your own.

So – as you all know who read this space – work is kicking my ass. I just put in a 14 hour day three weeks out from my annual meeting. I cannot even fathom what the next weeks will bring, My soul has detached from my body in a way where now all I do is work, sleep, and exercise.

All of my food is coming from Starbucks.

Needless to say sometimes these days I’m getting a weeeee bit loopy, especially during work. My filter is gone…I could potentially say anything.

During work I occasionally (okay frequently) IM my dearest friend, the BFF.

Today – I took a momentary break to catch up, and during the course reminded her of a lustily good cheese based snack treat that can be found at a place in Wisconsin. She thanked me – and this is what I I’md her in response.

2:26 PM
me:
giver
me
yes I am
and like me some cheese
mmm cheese
I likey my cheesy
cheesypalooza
dairy fairy
the end
by me

2:27 PM
BFF: you are losing your mind! WHOO HOOO!

me:
giver
and funny too
sadly branded too difficult to exist by my father
but he can't even chew without spitting food - so I care not so much!

BFF: hilarious

me: INSTEAD - CHEESECURDS AND JOY!

BFF: nice yes yes yes

me: and cupcakes!

me:
I will dance like the light on the wings of a fairy
for a mere dollar and some sanity

me:
what?
you insinuate I am not radiating joy?
and love?
and glittery goodness
pshaw!
I LOVE THE MEETING AND EXPO
LOOOOOOOVE it

me: don't miss my soul at all

2:30 PM
me:
would buy it back for two dollars
but I stopped taking a salary because I LOVE THIS MEETING SO MUCH!

Perhaps I should get a bit more sleep.

Ah well- good luck to you and whomever may be kicking your ass at the moment.

I’m going to have a drink now.

Ten things I feel like judging today....

1.) Rain...lovely.

2.) People in the Midwest trying to drive in the rain...potentially death inducing.

3.) Adults in a group...dumb as rocks.

4.) Jackson Pollack...eh.

5.) Fluffy little kittens...darling. (tasty?)

6.) The semi-colon...evil, and useless.

7.) Nerf...odd, but strangely compelling. and squishy!

8.) G.I. Jane...good bad.

9.) Braveheart...BAD bad.

10.) The Sacagawea Dollar...ridiculous, but golden and shiny.

And He said...let there be JOY! Welcome to Monday.

Okay - this picture - maybe more like awesomeness for Monday, not exactly joy, but this guy is AWESOME! Who doesn't want to be him? I hope your day kicks ass like this guy does.

I TOTALLY know what you did.

Hope you are having an excellent weekend!

Daddy's little girl...

So my dad. He's never been a chatty guy. Or real parental. But his intentions are good and he made lots of sacrifices to take care of my mom. Whether or not this was smart - well - water under the bridge at this point. Now that she's gone he's getting chattier and trying to be a bit more involved. Kudos to him.

Before I go further with this one, it bears to say that I'm 33 years old. Currently single, have been for a few years now after the amicable, albeit painful, demise of my last two year relationship. Sometimes being old enough to get into the right trouble and being able to take advantage of it is super fun! Sometimes, especially recently, this has been a bit of a drag.

So - I called my father twice on the fourth to wish him a happy holiday and see how he was doing, as he sounded a bit low. On the second of these calls - a full three minutes in, he asked if he might pry into my personal life. Wanted to know if I was with anyone, and I told him that I wasn't at the moment, generously gave him a few details of the last two years in manville.

He then said...

Dad: "You know, I was surprised that you managed to date and live with anyone for as long as you did given how difficult you are." And then he chuckled.

Me: Silence

Dad: "Well you took THAT better than I expected you to"

I'm now left with this question.

What the hell do you do when your own father, who put up with a lot during the course of his 35 year marriage, declares you untenable to men? And thinks it's funny?

You may send me your unwanted cats of any type. According to my father I might be taking care of them well into my old age, and it's always good to have a B plan.

Best Obituary Ever.

Count Gottfried Von Bismark

Ten things America came up with that I like...A photo gallery in celebration of your only summer federal holiday. Happy Fireworks!

Joy for Monday! You know you love the joy!

Awwww.....aren't they cute? Kissing is fun!

My best moment at work this week...

As you may have picked up from recent posts - work is quite challenging for me for the next month. We have 20,000 people coming to town and I'm responsible for a whole bunch of things related to that. This involves heaps of work and lots of very very intense thinking, in addition to spectacular amounts of money and paperwork. It's been hard for awhile and it's only going to get harder before it gets better.

I can best decribe this visually as ...

What the hell are these?

So...

In the context of this knowledge, I present you with my favorite moment at work this week.

I am following a lovely woman at my office, we'll call her "Knowledge, " into the kitchen to get some crappy, but free coffee.

She has a lolipop. It's green. My favorite flavor.

Knowledge: "Hey - what's up!"

Me: "Hey! Nothing much...."

Knowledge: "I have a lolipop."

Me. "You do! Yum! I want a lolipop too!...... or sweet sweet death."

We both laughed for five minutes.