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Hope your weekend is spankin' grand.

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Ten books I have not read...

Given that I have a double major in both English Lit and Theatre Performance, I have no idea how this happened...

1.) Coriolanus, William Shakespeare
2.) The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger
3.) Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Edward Albee
4.) 1984, George Orwell
5.) The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera
6.) Love in the Time of Cholera, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
7.) The Jungle, Upton Sinclair
8.) A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole
9.) The Sandman, Neil Gaiman (series)
10.) Marat/Sade, Peter Weiss

HOWEVER – here are ten things I have read, many more than once (granted, some are more embarrassing than others). Feel free to mock me at your leisure…

1.) Harry Potter, 1-7, J.K. Rowling
2.) Good Omens, Neil Gaiman and Terry Prachett
3.) The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer Bradley
4.) Sex and the City, Candace Bushnell
5.) The Cider House Rules, John Irving
6.) Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café, Fannie Flagg
7.) Wicked, Gregory MacGuire
8.) It’s Not About the Bike, My Journey Back to Life, Lance Armstrong
9.) A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Dave Eggers
10.) Zodiac, Neal Stephenson

Joy for Monday! - just under the wire....

I bet you thought I had forgotten about you...Don't worry.It's Monday. I remembered. Have a juicy week! This is from Robot Chicken. Enjoy.

I'm sittin in a railway station...

So - I'm headed home to the land where I'm from this weekend. Not looking forward to it. Have some nasty personal business to conduct. Home for me was Washington, DC. Now it's Chicago. People occasionally comment that DC is such a great city and question me on why I left. There are a thousand reasons, but perhaps none as telling as the video below.

The musician in the piece is one of the world's preeminent violinists. The station is one of the busier metro stations in downtown DC.

I - for the life of me can't get the video to embed here...so check it out below. This is also from a story by Gene Weingarten at the Washington Post. I seem to be referencing him a few times this week. I blame his damn cat.

Stop and Hear the Music

A relatively sleepless night.....and random thoughts

So - again - I can't sleep. Stupid life. Any number of things could be keeping me awake - I will not bore you with the details...today anyway (hell - I'm not even sure I know what the details are - if you can figure it out- could you please let me know? And, if you are looking for the Joy - it's here - just scroll down. You can do it!) Instead I give you this...

from www.foundmagazine.com

Did you laugh? I hope so. I sure did. That's a bit scary though, as yes, it is in fact a tirade on rock, paper, scissors. Apparently I'm getting easier to amuse as I age. I probably would have found this even more amusing if it had in fact been written all piratey and alluded to One Eyed Willy.

If you don't know who One Eyed Willy is, I'm a little sad for you. you have the powers of google to figure it out...

I'm going to go make some tea now.

Cartoon , B. Kilban. Thanks to chertiozhnik for the reference...

Something NOT related to joy...but related to Ice Cream!

Yeah. I'm a slacker. Been posting nothing but joy of late...so for no reason other than the BFF said to (see how obedient I can be?) Here you have...

A Guide to Ice Cream Flavors as an Emotional Buoy....

1.) When you are carrying your trash down three flights of stairs in August and the bag breaks because you over-cinched it - Orange Sherbet, Vanilla ribbon.

2.) When it's Christmas time and you have been stuck in the mall for too long and it's REALLY HOT and you hate everyone because they are walking too slowly and they should just get the hell out of your way. - Peppermint Stick in a Waffle Cone. Bourbon Chaser.

3.) When it's 3:00am and you've been up watching a movie marathon of Heathers and Rear Window. - Any flavor as long as it's eaten out of the carton.

4.) When you're in a situation where you MAY find yourself eating the ice cream off of someone - Dulche de Leche or Vanilla (tie).

5.) After Sunday Brunch - Sherbet, Lime or Raspberry.

6.) When it's a hundred million degrees out and you are WAY too hot and cranky, so cranky that you just want to whine like a five year old, despite your advanced age. - Vanilla soft serve, cake cone, rainbow sprinkles.

7.) With bananas foster - NOTHING! NO ICE CREAM goes with the loathed banana! Why would you take such a lovely dessert and ruin it by adding something as disgusting as a banana?

8.) When you have a sore throat, and you are on your couch, and all you want is sweet sweet relief from the horrifying pain of your illness - Popsicles - Green or Red. (Yeah - it's not ice cream - but dairy is bad for a sore throat. so there.)

9.) After the bad day. You know the bad day. the one where something big falls apart - your job, your love, your sanity, or a combination of the three. - Praline Pecan. Bourbon Chaser. Fuzzy Slippers.

10.) On your Birthday - Any flavor you like - as long as it comes with a cake and presents (and in my case - Turkey, as a little cuspy Sagittarius baby) Who doesn't like cake and presents? I know that YOU like cake and presents. Later - stay tuned for my dissertation on punch and pie.

It's Monday Eve - Might I interest you in some joy?

Okay - so I could make some comment about kitlers (Kitty Hitlers) or cats that resemble cows(all as mentioned from Gene Weingarten at the Washington Post - this is his daughters cat) but all I really can say is...wow...this is the cutest cat ever. I hope your soul feels a bit warmer and a wee bit more joyful :) Have a lovely day!

Joy for WEDNESDAY!!!

Yep - for Wednesday! See how I'm a giver? Extra bonus joy. Muppet themed, and potentially not entirely safe for work. Turn your sound down...

Ten Noises I Loathe

Hello all - I'm still in the snarky place, but thought perhaps you'd like something a bit more interesting than a picture. I may also post a picture of something later, but you will just have to wait and see...now won't you. Yeah I know - I suck.

Here are - Ten noises I loathe, for your reading pleasure...

1.) People eating cereal and milk

2.) Heavy breathers on a conference call.

3.) The squaking of tropical birds (times six if it's inside)

4.) The sound of wheezing while talking.

5.) Bad Nextel transmission.

6.) Gum cracking.

7.) The bass of music you are not listening to.

8.) Color Scrollers.

9.) George Bush Speaking. About anything.

10.) Techno.

One of the most beautiful chidren's books ever...

Just because I'm feeling all sharey....This is one of the pages from Kit Williams' Masquerade. Should you ever find yourself in the library, or at my house actually as I still have my copy, pick it up and take a look through. Stunning. And it has rabbits too - if you like that sort of thing.

Monday's a comin...bring on the JOY!

Yeah - ya'll though I forgot about you with the not writin' and stuff. I'm soon to be back on the horse, the climb up the Cliffs of Despair is taking a bit longer than I anticipated. Ah well. Monday and joy are here for you nonetheless. Let's give it up for the Nicolas Brothers...with a special dedication to our friends in England :)

I'm appalled, and yet intrigued

I have no idea what to make of this....

Joy for Monday! Part two

Wow! A two parter (granted - the two parts are basically unrelated but I think you are man enough to take it). Soon - I may return to actual writing, now that all signs point to me having my life back.

So- second part of the joy is here. It's totally SFW but vaguely offensive in other ways. It is a pdf, so just know that before you go clicking on things. clicker. you. what would your mother say. you should be ashamed of yourself......

Elegant bread lamb is my favorite. yikes.

Joy for Monday! Part one

Let's give it up for Gordon Macrae. Happy Monday! Bring on a week of joy.

Welcome to Sunday....

I'm feeling a little bit lazy today - I'm going to let Johnny Cash and the Muppets do my work for me.

Enjoy.

Speaking of Frogs! I bring you - Stuff in my house

Hello and welcome to our newest feature - Stuff in my house. Here is an exciting collection of things on the porch. From left to right...Colonel Relish, Belvedere Ferris, and Mr. Peepers joined by their friend the camel. Super creepy but also amusing, don'tcha think?

Have a super weekend!

Dirty or not? you be the judge....

Five things that you might not want to hear onsite at your Annual Meeting.

1.) "Double-booked with Lollapalooza"

2.) Any combination of the words "Headquarter Hotel" and "Norovirus"

3.) "Taxi Strike"

4.) Any combination of the words "Whole Building," "Water Pressure," and "Outhouse Conditions"

5.) "Slight load-bearing miscalculation"

It has been recommended that next year we sacrifice a goat.

I'm Back! BRING ON THE JOY!

Hello friends and strangers!

I have returned from my very long show and am relatively back in the world of the living. News from the front later. To give you a hint - there were 183 hours from last Wednesday until I left show site at 3pm yesterday. I worked 109 of them. But leadership was happy and the crew was still willing to take me out for a drink. or thirty it seems. So I consider that a success.

That said - here's some damn joy :) Have a great day.