Ten things I know

1.) In Illinois, u-turns are illegal withing 100 feet of an intersection.

2.) Marshmallow Peeps will not catch on fire. Not even if you put then in a cappucino cup full of lighter fluid.

3.) Combined, stubbornness and a hatred of losing are stronger than a ten-year-old nicotine addiction.

4.) It is very hard to get a straight answer to "What is the plural of 'Jesus'?"

5.) If you are drinking bourbon and everyone else is drinking beer, you will be drunk first.

6.) A compass can be your best friend.

7.) Neil Diamond sucks. But is also sort of awesome.

8.) The joy of a soft serve ice cream cone with rainbow sprinkles never dissipates.

9.) If you and your girlfriend break up, and you ask her if she would like to take your ex-wife's cats with her when she goes - she will never forget this. And will mock you later.

10.) Most people do not know what "penultimate" means and use it incorrectly. Number 9 is the penultimate item on this list.