The perils of being historically notable...

Dear God. Please never let me be important enough that this would ever happen my undergarments. Thank you for not making me Queen of England. And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE have Santa bring me a pony.

Amen.

PS - I want one of these too!


LONDON (AP) - Her majesty would not be amused. A pair of Queen Victoria's bloomers, with a 50-inch waist, were snapped up for $9,000 by a Canadian buyer at a central England auction Wednesday.

Auctioneer Charles Hanson said Queen Victoria's underpants belonged to "a very big lady of quite small stature with a very wide girth." She was said to be 5 feet tall.

The handmade knickers -- which date back to the 1890s -- bear the monogram -- VR -- for Victoria Regina. They are open-crotch style, with separate legs joined by a drawstring at the waist, a popular style in the late Victorian era.

The royal drawers belonged to a family in western England whose ancestor was a lady-in-waiting for the queen.

"These pants, considering their provenance and pedigree, are very exciting," Hanson said. "They are monogrammed and crested and we know that they are hers."

Also up for auction was Queen Victoria's chemise, with a 66-inch bust, sold for $8,000. Her nightgown sold for $11,000.

Joy!

baaaaa.

If I was prone to falling in love with people from you tube...

I would totally marry this guy.

I'm back!

Shrimp '08 has concluded. I survived it! I hope you survived your week as well.

Here's a list of stuff I do to recover from my Annual Meeting upon my return:

1.) Nap.

2.) Drink.

3.) Buy shoes.

4.) Nap Drunk.

5.) Nap.

6.) Watch Law & Order

7.) Drink and watch Law & Order.

8.) Buy more shoes.

9.) Nap.

10.) Make sure cat is not dead.

Welcome to the rest of my summer. Joy shall return for Monday.

JOY! Beans!

So - the Tony awards were last night (!!) and in honor of that - I bring you this. One of my faves.

Enjoy your Monday. I'm hoping that I survive mine.



While we're at it. Let's give it up for Bernadette Peters. shall we? clap clap clap clap.

Bring the hate! Part something or other because I lost count.

Hi Friends - it's that time of year again. The annual meeting palooza - or as I'm calling it these days - shrimp '08. Make of that what you will.

In honor of the hate in my soul - I bring you...

Ten things that I hate! The east coast version.

1.) Longaberger Baskets.

2.) Yankee Candles.

3.) Applique Sweatshirts.

4.) Brighton Jewelry.

5.) The mall.

6.) Freight.

7.) Cheese Curds.

9.) People that don't know how to merge in traffic.

10.) Chicago style hotdogs.

Bonus eleventh and twelfth items of hate!

11.) This.

12.) Here.

A wise man once said...

Even if you have won the hot dog eating contest, you have still lost.

Apparently there is at least a bit of wisdom in Texas.

Look ma! I'm an artist.

So. I made art at work in a meeting today.



I wonder what this is telling me.

Best. Marketing. Ever.

From advertising is good for you

JOOOOOOOOOOY for Monday. Yeah baby!

Feelin' superstitious?



Three weeks and counting until my annual meeting is here. Four weeks until it's over. Please note that all joy will be posted ironically until then.

Thanks.

The management.

Jokey McJokerson rides again!

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?


Cause she was a WOMAN.



heh. I should be horribly offended by this joke. Oddly - I'm not. But I doubt that's surprising.

Last night I had the strangest dream...

In my dream I was committed to an insane asylum that looked like a regular Hampton Inny sort of place. I didn't know it was an asylum until I started paying REEEEEEALY close attention and noticed that, while most of the people seemed okay, they all had little signs like "I eat canned human flesh" and such things randomly scrawled on their body - a'la the infamous Dixie Chicks Entertainment Weekly cover. I started to wise up when realized that I didn't know how long I had been there. I escaped, Jason Bourne style, surreptitiously jumping gates and then running down the side of the road (in a fluffy skirt - I can't explain THAT part at all - but it was a super cute skirt)I hitched a ride in an eighteen wheeler with the asylum people chasing me. Eventually - I made it back to town where I FINALLY found someone I knew, who informed me that I'd been I'd been gone for 6 months and everyone thought I was a bitch for just running off.

SO - just for the good of the order - if I ever entirely disappear, I have been committed against my will. Please come find me.

Happy Friday!

Yes - but can you tie a clove hitch?

Old-timey dancin...this time with rope tricks!

JOY!

Holla for the JOY! My greatest apologies that it's been so long...

Let's get the ball rolling with a little Easter Parade...shall we?

Whos says never say "can't" ?

(or Kant - but that's a whole other post)

Words I can’t spell:
1.) Definitely
2.) Opportunities
3.) Hors D'oeuvres
4.) Yogurt
5.) Hieronymus

Places I can’t locate on a map:
1.) Nebraska
2.) Wyoming
3.) New Zealand
4.) The country formerly known as Chad
5.) Kentucky

Things I can’t care about:
1.) Perfectly organized files
2.) Flying Squirrels
3.) Jenna Jameson (Although I did go to college with this guy (LINK SO NSFW) so at least there is a porn star somewhere I can care about.
4.) Probiotics
5.) Nebraska

People I can’t like
1.) Bjork
2.) Vincent D’Onofrio
3.) The nasty flaming bartender at my favorite bar. Sad that.
4.) George Bush
5.) This guy: